PHILADELPHIA 06 FESTIVAL REPORTS

Hillary Clark's (Hopefully Coherent) Festival Report

So, Yeah, I made it to 5 of the 6 days of the fest. Missed Wednesday/The Fire debauchery. Had to go work in the "real" world. Tuesday was good. Hadn’t seen Re-Penetrator yet, and I got some friends to come out. And being a fan of Ministry of Information, I liked that after-party…good music…maybe I’m biased. Altho’ that’s when Zafer got tea-bagged…A lot. Ha ha. Among other things… And I wound up not having to pay my tab…Thanks to whomever…But then, I really didn’t pay for much the whole week, ‘cept for smokes ‘n’ bus/cab fare. (Yeah, fuck an All City Cab, by the way…)

Hrmm…Thursday…I was passed out under the table by 8pm-or something like that. (That was the first and last day I covered door…) Still made it to the after-party and the after-after party…Don’t really remember Johnny Brenda’s…Some sort of Arm-Wrestling tourney? And later that night, I think I made the mistake of asserting my religious-political beliefs[none]…and told Andy I wish his mom believed in abortion, or something…heh. Bla bla bla…woke up on the couch and after much hassle, got the good people at United Cab to take me home on the cheap…

Friday: Fucked. Actually quite liked Die You Zombie Bastards! Good production values and all…but I couldn’t follow the story ‘cos the crowd was SO vocal…Basically one asshole with a fucken skinny beard kept booing it, really loudly. Combined with the crowd’s rambunctiousness, and Zafer’s drunken decision making skills (I think) the movie was shut off. Personally, I think if you didn’t like it, you shoulda just left. Why want the movie to end? That just means we all have to leave the land of free booze, asshat. But I really don’t recall a whole lot. Maybe everyone wanted Die You Zombie Bastards! Shut off. But I thought it was pretty fucken disrespectful. I mean, c’mon, some of the people involved were there (tho’ I don’t remember who the fuck they were…) But in the end, I’m not sure anyone really cared…we were all drunk. Yay! Okay…M Room afterwards…Okay. Drunk. Bands were okay… Don’t really like the layout of the joint. One really crowded room w/ the bar, then a few people hang out in what feels like someone’s basement for the bands…Kinda low-energy…Dig.

Saturday: Uh…don’t really remember the screenings…except that this one group liked to REPEATEDLY yell out things about Pleasures of the Damned that weren’t 1979…Whiskey Dix—Had fun. Shiragirl...Brought a bottle with me to mix my own drinks. Somehow got really drunk?! I think I tried to sleep on the floor, and for some reason the staff frowned upon that. I guess I went to the office after that and passed right out. Had to catch the bus home the next morning. Haggard. I didn’t feel like going to see a ninja movie (I’m too much of a girl I guess) so I slept a bit before heading back for…

Sunday: Last day. Pretty low-key. I got to show my minute long cartoon…I had been afraid to actually submit anything for fear of my own art-faggotry eliciting a good smashing…(okay, that sentence sounds really "something"…erm…) Unfortunately I was so tired and my tolerance was so high by Sunday that I wasn’t able to get really drunk. So tired. But I tried, really I did. Just didn’t happen. Doug was funny on Sunday especially. Not too many people made it through…I guess Saturday was a good last day. Sunday was just the epilogue…or some shit… Tritone afterwards-- Good music. Still couldn’t get drunk to my satisfaction. But got a whole fuckload of food for cheap. Which probably worked against my endrunkening…Pity That.

What else? Well, I spent most of the festival wandering around drunk during the screenings, trying to find something to do. Sometimes I’d guard the projector. Or clean up…Or do whatever my superiors told me to…

Didn’t get sick the whole week. Also didn’t win anything in the Death Pool.

Favourite Festival Goers? Well, those 2 faithful guys who were at most of the screenings—that was cool. I "liked" how each day had its own different token older, heavier, obnoxious random drunk asshole…One of whom helped tick off the "Get into a fight" Death Pool category. Ha ha. Shoulda fucken known when he falls backwards down the stairs as soon as he stumbles over from The Fire where he had surely just been 86d from…ha.

Fave Flix? Why, A Pizza for Sprinkles, natch. Sorry, but seriously I didn’t catch too many of them (or don’t remember…) I think I coulda liked Die You Zombie Bastards! The porn was good, as was Derailroaded. Oh yeah, and Gabrielle Wolfe (winner of the "Best Breasts" Award) definitely has some nice tits.

Ende.