PHILADELPHIA 06 FESTIVAL REPORTS
Gina "Gizzo" Izzo's Backseat
I was at the ticket
table for the majority of the festival. I use "at"
liberally. I was at, behind, beside, under the table most of
the festival. Tuesday began moving chairs, chilling beers, allocating
shots, vomit-proofing the theater, preparing for pornstars to
destroy bad movies, and generally fumbling like a shy and nervous
intern. I very quickly became Sailor Jerry's bitch and woke
up drunk in a sound room Wednesday morning.
After finding my car I learned
the throb in my head was actually from last night's sidewalk--twice--and
made the executive decision to carry Heaven's Hill for the rest
of the week. Fuck that sailor.
Wednesday I had the privilege of
chauffering Doug, ambushed with blue eyeliner, majestically
sporting his ring-master blazer, waving his PBR like revolution
flag, weaving between trollies, wobbling across the tracks,
to the Fire in a wheelchair. There I saw some totally solid
bands like The Old Souls and Bitter Sweathearts, danced, drank,
and assisted in relocating Doug from his rotating naptime spots.
Being at the ticket table I regrettably
saw very few movies. One I did see in its entirety was "The
Voice Inside." It was righteous and fucked up and I totally
dug it. I caught parts of "Irish American Ninja,"
"Pot Zombies," and "Portal" and was thoroughly
impressed. Until five minutes ago I thought I was not in attendance
for "Die You Zombie Bastards!" Apparently, or so Nick
tells me, I was definitely present, in the theater, and having
an excellent time. So there that is.
I have to say my favorite afterparty
was at Whiskey Dix, partly because I remember it. The Amazing
Wid was indeed amazing--everything the legends promised and
just a little bit more. Bartenders breathed fire, swords burned
in throats, bars were in flames--shit was hot.
The rest runs together. I've since
stopped trying to fill in the hours I lost during my Backseat
Bender. I know there was drinking, movies, porn stars, arm wrestling,
vomiting, yelling, cleaning, shame, drinking, swaying, falling,
music, rum, dancing, bourbon, laughing, ninjas, robots, rockstars,
mutants, drinking, drinking, whiskey, zombies, tits, cocks,
blood, brains, beers, and some really awesome fucking cats doing
some rock star shit I'm proud to say I could be part of. And
if I could remember all of what happened, I'd do it all again
in a second. I think.